In search of life i kept dying...

I kept dying till the end for the life
& at the end i came to know
i could not live my life

Since the young age
at the odds or the evens ...
at the dawn or at the dusk...
every moment
i kept searching my life
how can it be more beautiful
how can it be more lovable
how it can be more graceful
& finally it can get a happy ending
I clutched it so tightly
wanted to grab it so quickly
pawed dreams so firmly
so that i could not see the other parts
finally it became like sand
grabbed it tightly
When did open my palm
there was nothing
it was vacant
just leaving my hands dirty
I had nothing but
had to waste my time
to clean it again
i remorsed.. i regreted...
And came to know
i was blind
Who could not see the other parts
i was a rule breaker
who kept breaking it & suffering punishments
i was a prisoner
who was locked in luck & destiny
But the one was so strong
that kept my life alive
that was the WILL POWER
Still i kept running
I ran so fast to win again & again
but the finishing line kept running away from me
I kept running.. i kept panting...i kept resting
But it kept being away from me time to time
I wanted all so soon... so on time
but it set away more & more
I was upset... I was down...
But there was no other way to come out of it
Finally i never gave up
Because not the dreams
But the fight for it
made my life beautiful,lovable & graceful
& at the end life died
as the way i wanted it..

For US Only...

Everyday i fight with you
Because i know i am fighting for us
I know you will sleep sleepless if i don't do
Every word that throw in anger
Every word i utter in harshness
all have love inside not to reveal
all make us strong to live along
how much you love me or i do
it does never have a scale to measure
It does never have a face to carve it
It does never have an identity to show it
But it has it's own way to say... to express
That you understand...that i understand...
I do fear to answer the world
Because our world has thoughts off the world
You have left my life free of all to aspect
then why do i stop eating your head
then why do i stop crying in your arms
because i know you are there to wipe off my tears
When you are at the end of talk i wish a bit more
I become greedy.. i become selfish..
Not to make you eyes' off.. Not to let you go away..
You go away i close my eyes
I say to tears "PLEASE!!! DONT COME OUT"
My eyes will be wet.. you will wet inside
May be the words never be enough
Never be the end...
But whatever we have
After all it's all about "FOR US ONLY"

What Runs Inside ?

Whenever i close my eyes
you come in darkness
making every moment alive
as fresh as it was
We had spent together
We had shared among
As the day passes,you pass by me
Some laughs in illusion
keeps me laughing with you
Your tease , your smile
at my batty behaviour
your help at boggled times
nothing could vacate the harbour
build a nest inside
But i want to scrub it all
Every moment i want to wash it off
Every moment i try hard
to far cry from effing memories
But can't , just i hate myself
because can't hate you
I run away from myself
how to get rid off it?
But thanks to my friend
who thought me the best lesson ever
no one can cheat me forever
he got rid off everything
but i still standing at same turn
sometimes waiting for him
sometimes hating him
nothing gonna change
nothing gonna come back in lap
still this airhead
s tucked to same momentum
Thinking at variant times
Was those words really fabricated
so morphed ???
Was those promises to a friend
really breached???
Was those company for long times
really erotic attraction???
he passed in life as an accident
i passed as the need of time
Does me really need of replication?
why his lesson never let me build
a bond of trust again to anyone?
may be he was the best example
not to trust anyone any more.

If Love Flogs... in Shops

If love were been in shops
It would 've been flogged
With some cost,even in auctions
in full of baskets & in bags
Revelry would 've entered the doors
Hopes would ne'er 've croaked
Love sound would ne'ev had stopped
If love would 've flogged... in shops

No one would 've accused Almighty
"Why didn't you feed my appetite?"
Hungry or death, bliss or pain recked inside
All would 've taked on thier own noggin
Hearts would 've gone on beats of happiness
No hopes would 've been croaked
Love would 've built the TAJ in back steets
If love would 've flogged... in shops

Love would have been gone on sell
would have come in packets with brandnames
No one would have taken in begging
No one would have donated in felicity
Sometime at high,sometime at low in prices
This would 've been the businesses
Lovers would 've been the barons
If love would 've flogged... in shops

If people were worked hard to earn few
To pay some way the cost of it
None of any would have ignored it
Everyone's head would 've kept in mind
even love have some value to live it
crowd would 've worshiped the lovers
No hue & cry for love in life
If love would 've flogged... in shops

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
flog:-sell
revelry:-sound of happines & cheers
croak:die
reck:-to enter
noggin:head
baron:big businessman

Bliss

I always evaded pregnant ed emotions
Never let the fear come on threshold
one blue day in hush i may loose you
Heart-to-heart jaw & banter hefted ever
Every moment we cherished together
pushes ever & anon true sheer blisses

Amiable,stimulating company of your's
never pinged any hesitation on my doors
Tweaking on my pussyfoots filled my needs
My quothings of pain,tears & naive of you
never let me thought for pining for else
single ping of your's ever got sheer blisses

The time we passed together day or night
were not so mare but were the need
Smiles at each other's glance were the seed
Germination took a new break between us
before that we fell apart cheating one to one
Still a single ping of your's pushes sheer blisses

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

bliss: perfect happiness
evade: to avoid
pregnant ed: filled with meanings & importance that never have been expressed
threshold:door-steps
cherish: to be happy
one blue day:one sunny day
heart-to-heart:to talk emotions of feelings
jaw:to talk for a long time
banter:friendly talk
in hush:in silence
heft:to lift something heavy
cherish:to enjoy
amiable:friendly
stimulating:encouraging
ping:light sound
tweak:to make a twist with a sudden move
pussyfoots:scared of making decisions
quoth:said
naive:strongly,blindly believing something/someone
pine:dying for something to get it that you don't have
sheer:complete
mare:mature
seed:small plant
germination:start of something new
one to one:one - another

Thank You God!!!

I asked for strength
and
he gave me difficulties to make me strong
i asked for wisdom
and
God gave me problems to solve
I asked for prosperity
and
God gave me brain brawn to work
I asked for courage
and
God gave me danger to overcome
I asked for love and
God gave me troubled people to love
I asked for favor
and
God gave me opportunities
I received nothing I wanted
I received everything I needed

Your Eyes

One day i was walking on my way
searching my zealous smiling face

I reached a beach…
Trying to see my smile
I thought it will be back
in ebb tides
But couldn’t
It was floating unfixed on surface

I moved ahead as the day
Got some mirror pieces on the way
Made thousands of expressions
to see the lively smile
But couldn’t
Broken pieces shown me broken smile

I stepped ahead again
thinking “I should pray to God.”
I knelt down on concreted route
closing my eyes, joining my hands
but couldn’t
Even God disappointed me

At last i came at home
I fell in comatose
A dream came with a smiling face
on front, the mirror was black
very small with full of water
and I was smiling in
My soul never saw it before nor after
that was your eyes and i was smiling in

——————————————–--------------------------------------------------------------------
zealous:full of excitememts,happiness
comatose:to sleep after being very tired

I am the tear who never speak

I am the tear who never speak
I try to banish your dodgy feelings on foot
I greet your ecstasy brought on the way
I am the mother's love dwelling in heart for own blood
I am the father's feeling that never speak in crowd
I am the friend's care that never appear
I am the squished flow that spontaneously comes in blow
I am the cry of pain rolling down in vain
I am the acoustic Morse for a mother by the baby
hushed speechless dollop
I am the tear who never speak

----------------------------------------------------------
banish:to get rid of
dodgy:cause to pain
ecstasy:state of extreme happiness
dwell:to live
acoustic:hearing
Morse:code/signal
hushed:calm,silent
dollop:small amount of something

You not here, I can't cry

Whenever i felt down,whenever i felt lonely
i always knocked the door of your way
Today you not here, i talk to myself
i blubber in solitude,then console myself
you are not here, i can't cry
Whenever needed suggestions i ranged up you
you always put forwarded your hand
Those never changed my life
but tried to drag me on right track
You never gifted me flowers never prezzies
but gifted something that was uncountable

I never wanted to loose anyhow but i lost you
you never changed my life but made it cozy
your absence bangs my head... no one is there
then i say..i have to walk alone my way
when you was here i never understood the value
when you have gone all away
i always get confused on my way
i close my eyes,i enfold myself in my arms
two drops of tears, two drops of remembrance
i make my syrup and gulp in one time
saying myself.. you not here, i can't cry

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
prezzies:gifts

Without saying a word

River flows its own way
Sometimes dribble , sometimes overflow
It always flows across hurdles
Making their own channel
No one asks you walking on my way?
Believing in amour prop re
Without a stop going on her way
Sometimes flow like somnambulist
Sometimes flow non-directionally
Without an question, without an answer
She is flowing, she is flowing
Waving all, soaring at high
Meets the sea with aplomb at estuary
Finally life of sea hugs heaven
Without saying a word
Without saying a word

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

dribble:slow flow
channel:path
amour prop re:believing in own ability
somnambulist:who walks in sleeping state
aplomb:confident & style
estuary:wide river place when it meets sea

Thousands of Question

All around, my surround
Clutching crowd,maw with abuzz
I chosen my own gait
distinct to cavalcade
i perambulate all alone
Then i ask myself "Why do i walk alone?"

Looking in mirror
talking to own image
Thousands of question soar my bug
Asking thousands of question
Why this panoply bod is questioning her own image?
Talking to own with downcast eyes, in bereft of allure
I ask myself "Why my dream still a hallucination?"
Then i ask myself "Why tears wet my eyes?"

Dreaming in day,dreaming in night
battling to own, every-time with a new bash
beat.. annihilation...then crush
reach at a point of surrender
Then i ask myself "Why me fighting to me for mine dreams?"

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

maw: surrounding
abuzz: noisy
gait: path
cavalcade: fixed single path that all follow
perambulate: single , self-made path
bug: excitement
panoply: package of good qualities
bereft: lack
allure: charm
hallucination:we think its real but really do not exist
beat: to bit
annihilation: to destroy
mine: as my